Letter to potential flatmates

Dear <<Person with advert for flatshare>>,

Hi! I just read your advert for a flatshare in <<insert district of Berlin>>. I love <<that district of Berlin>>! I apologise for writing to you in English when clearly we are speaking about a flat in the capital of Germany, but what can you do? I don’t even speak German! But I am learning very slowly.

I suppose I should write a little bit about myself. I find this hard because I don’t know what to say or as it happens, how to say it! Reading broken English translations of adverts in German confuses me and stops English speaking to me being natural – you know? I have with many other English people discussed this and it seems often to be a problem – yes!?

So, about me. Well I am pretty clean. I like to clean things sporadically rather than to a specific schedule. I am, however, pretty untidy. I like to give a flat that wonderful lived in feel with papers on the table, clothes strewn over furniture, bags on the floor of every room and make up on the couch. In fact, speaking of make-up, I love make up. I like to apply it in every room, and will probably relocate household mirrors to facilitate this. I often find I stain the sofa/bed/worksurface with make up and, depending on the quality of the product, it can be difficult to remove!

I like to eat cereal. I like to eat it as soon as I wake up and then also, constantly throughout the day. Any cereal is good and I will of course provide this for the flat. If there is any available when you are in the kitchen you may help yourself, but this is unlikely as I will probably have eaten it all. This also means I always buy milk.

In terms of clothing I mainly wear one dressing gown. It is pink with little hearts on and if I forget to wear undearwear I cannot guarantee that I won’t flash you.

I like the social aspect of a flatshare as I can be pretty talkative. When you get in and want to chill out and watch TV I will be there to ask you inane questions about your day and will take no social cue from your one-word answers.

On an average day I like to wake up around midday, potentially later, somewhat irrelevant of whether I have a job which starts earlier than this. When I am not working I tend to position myself somewhere in the living room, maybe in front of the television, in the dressing gown, with the cereal, and then ignore the television and watch something on my laptop. You might think I could do this in my own room, but if I did, how would I annoy you with inane questions as soon as you walk in through the door?

I like to bake cakes and cookies. They taste good when they are finished. However, the specific recipe I follow includes steps such as:

·        lightly dust the living room floor with a layer of flour

·        whisk violently until tables and workstations are coated in cake mixture.

So! If you like the sound of all this you should get in touch! My German number is <<number>> and I am available all of the time to come and look around your flat, laugh awkwardly throughout the whole appointment in the hope that this will somehow endear you to me and respond to your questions in broken English as though I’m patronising you!

See you soon!!

Helen